Those of you that are in the obese crowd... please have respect for the rest of us. If you need to fly to another part of the country... buy two seats. I dont want your fat lapping over the seat and embedding a 3 deminsional mold of the contents of my pocket, into my leg.

Mexicans... we do not need to know your families last name when driving to the grocery store, so why do you feel a need to purchase 12" tall letters to spell it out on the back window of your 1986 Chevy work truck? Is there some sort of hispanic heirarchy that the rest of the country isn't aware of? Is the Gonzales clan that much better than the Rodriguez? And while we are on the topic... just because they make accessories for your Chevy truck, does not mean that you have to buy them ALL.

To the media.... I could give a shit less if you want to pop a booby during the super bowl, or have a commercial with a little jungle fever action kicking for monday night football, but if i have to see one more tampax and kotex commercial, I'm going to start inserting the product rectally to any and all station executives that air them. Do tampons really need advertising? Are there women sitting at home right now... thinking "you know.. i really wish i knew what to do with all this blood gushing out of my snatch."????

Little internet fuckwads... you know who you are... the "a/s/l, LOL, OMG, ROFLMAO, STFU" crowd. stop it. just stop. Its no longer trendy to use slang internet jargon, and if you drag it off the internet and into real life, especially SAYING THE LETTERS IN A VERBAL CONVERSATION... i will slap you. hard. several times. with a 9 iron.

this concludes today's tips.